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Hey guys! If you’ve been reading my blog on WordPress, I have a new one on my very own website here! Click the link and check it out. Every time I blog, it will be on this new website instead. Make sure you bookmark it so you never miss a post. I won’t be posting/updating this blog anymore. Thanks guys, see ya!

Depression

MELANIE EATS

I’m gonna write this like I expect no one to read it.

Depression is like the daunting storms eerily given the name tropical depressions that threaten to spin out of control into hurricanes.

They boast destruction and heighten anxiety yet you can never be sure whether or not they’re coming.

They brag heavy precipitation but sometimes only lightly drizzle

They’re highly unpredictable

We have to stay prepared

Storm shutters, preparedness packets including legal documents and flashlights

God forbid we need to use it but we also agree on safe meet up places should we ever get separated

Downed power lines

Shattered roofs, the possibility of carnage just a carnal twisted imagination

Lest it happens

When depression strikes it takes your physical body with it. It’s illness all around

Your nervous system scatters about looking for coverage as the news reporters send shock waves of the pending storm.

The forecasters let…

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Starbucks Who?

A couple of months ago, I was driving to school and had to, upsettingly, stop at a red light. Anxious because I was being late, I looked around at the cars surrounding mine. On a beat-up, little red car was a magnet reading “Foxtail Cafe”. I’ve had that name on my mind for a couple months now and just recently decided to look them up online. I found various social media platforms with quality photos of their shop and outside seating. This place looked like it was straight out of a tumblr blog! I didn’t know we had this kind of scene in Central Florida.

I finally decided to visit the famous Foxtail Cafe yesterday. I ordered my iced green tea latte like I would at any of my local Starbucks’. I sat at the bar and observed the area in all of its wood-paneled glory. People of all ages sat amongst the tables and chairs on their laptops or were just chatting. I was totally surprised to see this variety of a crowd in a niche place like this.

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As I’m sipping, I work up the courage to ask the barista about the cafe’s blog. Ever so eager to talk about myself, I pitched my ideas and explained my interest in writing for them. Their faces lit up as I described what I’d be writing as well as describing some simple dynamics to get their media up and running. Shortly after, Christine (one of the baristas) introduced me to the store’s owner (eeep). I spoke to him about the blog and again, about myself. He thought the idea of an experienced writer behind the blog would boost it’s cred with the coffee-goers. I’m still waiting for a complete answer but this place is quickly becoming my favorite hangout spot. Cheers to #foxtailcafe!

Check them out at www.foxtailcafe.com for more information!

A little bit about my writings and creative interests so far…

The genre I most enjoy reading is horror/thriller. I enjoy anything from abduction stories, serial killer files, paranormal, true crime, and so on. These genres are very entertaining to me because they are situations that can happen in real life, for the most part. However, knowing you get to go to bed at night safe and sound is relieving.

I do write in this genre because reading it so often helps jolt my imagination. As sinister as it sounds, the first thing that comes to mind when asked to write for a class is something creepy or unsettling. Everyone loves a good scary story and to me, the scariest things are either in our minds or living next door.

I dislike the genre of fantasy/sci-fi. These might be broad genres, but as I stated previously, I like grounded, more realistic stories. The overdone, crazy radical imagery and situations of these genres bore me. They seem childish and very drawn out. Do we really need a 100th Star Wars movie?

My own writing comes off as some form of psychological/dark matter. I’ve written stories about drug addiction, suicide, depression, and mental illness. While these things aren’t Friday the 13th horror, they are scarier in a different way. These characters’ bodies are essentially attacking themselves. The mind is a dark hole that can take you to horrifying places, even on the verge of death. The fact that it is very real is terrifying to me.

Blah

I’m not sure what to write about but it’s been too long without writing anything. My mood has been going up and down like the least fun roller coaster ever, and I love roller coasters. My emotions will literally change within seconds from neutral or happy to anxiety-ridden to depressed. It’s such a struggle and really takes a toll on my mental state. It even causes me physical pain at times.

I keep thinking about you and every time your favorite songs come on at work my chest tightens and I want to cry. I miss how things were, why do I feel so tricked? Why can’t the one person I want, want me back? Why is it so hard for me to find love? It’s always on my bloody mind I wish it’d just all burn in hell. 

I’ve been working out less due to a very minor knee injury and hectic work schedule. I’ve been losing my appetite as well. I just feel lost in my thoughts and feelings constantly. I just want you. Maybe I ask for too much.